My concerns put to rest
Here’s a thought provoking article I found on stumbleupon.com:
thoughtcatalog.com/2011/the-second-time-you-fall-in-love-with-someone/
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to feel so relieved. When you get your heart broken for the first time, you can’t imagine loving someone else again or having someone else love you. You worry about your ex finding love before you do, you worry about being damaged goods. And then it happens. Someone else loves you and you can sleep well at night.
The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The first time felt like a dream almost. You were untouched, untainted by anyone. You accepted love with wide open arms and desperation. “Love me, love me, love me!” So you did. And then it fell apart and left you shocked to the core. You realized that people could be cruel and break your heart. You realized that people could stop meaning the sweet things they said to you just yesterday. So when you go into it again, you’re going to keep in mind everything that you’ve learned. You’re going to say, “Love me, love me, love me…until you don’t. In which case, I would like some advance warning. Thanks!”
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to compare it to your first love. That’s okay. That’s natural. You’re going to be studying the new love with judgement and wariness. “My ex never liked broccoli. Why the hell does this one eat so much broccoli?!” Discovering that you have the ability to love multiple people who are different and feel different is initially very jarring. Loving an unfamiliar body will leave you disoriented and in dire need of a map. That’s okay too. That’s to be expected. Just ask the new love for directions.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to suffer from a bout of amnesia. You’re going to poke and prod at your lover’s body and be like, “Wait, how do I do this again? How do I love you? I think it starts with us having a moment together in some coffee shop, right?” It’s going to feel scary at first. Falling in love is sort of like riding a bike though. You never really forget.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’ll be a more sane person. Your first love is when you get all of your insanity out. You behave like an insane monster because your mind is freaking out about all these new powerful feelings. By the second time, however, you have an idea of what works and what doesn’t. It’s by no means perfect. The insanity will make a cameo at some point. “Peek a boo. I’m here! Hope you didn’t forget about me!” But you can usually shoo it away after awhile.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you will hopefully have better sex. Do not quote me on this.
The second time you fall in love with someone will still be exciting and you might even talk about moving in together or marriage. It will feel more “adult.” You have no idea what adult love actually is but you think it involves making coffee for each other in the morning and maybe even getting a dog. “This is my dog, Xan. I got him with the second person I fell in love with because that’s what you do! The first person I was in love with would’ve killed a dog.”
The second time will not be the first time. The first time is an insane magical life gift that you can never reclaim. But that’s okay. The second time is more real anyway. The second time can involve some amazing love.
As some of you may know, my now ex-girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago. The distance became an issue, as well as a few other things that I recently found out.
I thought she was the “one” for a period of time. No, she wasn’t Neo! ;) Just someone I thought would be wonderful to be around for the rest of my life. She had other plans. It hurt. It still hurts.
But, life goes on. There’s going to be peaks and valleys in your life. You have to learn how to pick yourself up and be happy with yourself before others will be happy around you!
I learned that a few years ago… I forgot. Don’t make that same mistake. Always do what makes YOU happy. If you’re always attempting to please others then you’ll forget who you really are. I lost sight of that phrase, which isn’t that tough to do. Humans innately want to be loved by all. That’s not always going to happen.
To sum all this up the best, I’m going to quote a great movie;
True love is your soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.
Love the word “counterpoint” there.
Counterpoint is the relationship between two or more voices that are harmonically interdependent, but independent in contour and rhythm.
That last part of the definition is key! “… but independent in contour and rhythm.” Every heart has a different rhythm. So does every person, every bird, every bird and every cloud. It’s what makes us unique. We aren’t going to fall in love with someone EXACTLY like us. If we did then where would be the fun be? Just remember, be yourself, do what makes you happy and live YOUR life. Your soul’s counterpoint will eventually find you.
